My life has changed such a lot in the last 5 years, but I’m not ever so sure that I have changed with it.
I’ve gone from being a fiercely independent single Mum, taking on the world to provide a better life for my son and I to being happily married with 2, soon to be 3, children. Life’s less of a battle these days, well in some ways anyway. I’ll come back to you about that when potty training starts!
It’s taken me a while to settle into my new life, and I think the biggest transition is yet to come.
I’ve always been focused on career and ambition. Feeling a huge sense of loyalty to the ‘Bring it on’ Zena I even returned to work full time after my maternity leave with Princess ended early last year. I didn’t have to, but I did.
I’m now 25 weeks pregnant suffering with every pregnancy related symptom known to woman, and I’m realising trying to work full time was a huge mistake. Thought I was bloody Superwoman didn’t I!
Now I’m sitting on the time out bench, forced to reflect on a few things. One of the catalysts for being here was when I lost a significant friendship during my pregnancy.
The big question is, what are my priorities right now? I seem to have made everything my priority. Everything except me that is. With limited and dwindling resources due to pregnancy I need to start ranking them into some sort of sensible order before the cracks turn into crevices.
Top is looking after my health and well being during this pregnancy. I know, it’s blinking obvious isn’t it, but looking after myself is not one of my strong points! Is it for any mother?
My family take the next layer in this new triangle. I want the best for them. The Teenager is sitting his exams in the Summer, and want him to have the best chance of doing well. Princess is a bright, healthy happy little girl who I’m sure will make it through the throws of sibling rivalry unscathed (quick, touch wood!). My dear husband will follow his dreams and reach is full potential, between nappy changes and bath time that is!
Then there’s the new me, who is she? Someone that’s been neglected. I needed to be a Warrior Princess once. It’s time to stop flailing the sword now and hang up the armour. Where does all that energy go then? Perhaps I can be more creative, more nurturing, more supportive. I could be someone who likes writing. I never knew that! The instant gratification of posting a blog has become deeply satisfying. I can see why so many of you are doing it!
So what happens next. To be honest I’m not sure. Will this new perspective help me, I hope it will. Perhaps life will change, perhaps it won’t. I know one thing will change. I will change!
We have many balls to juggle as Mum’s, and sometimes we drop some and sometimes we have to pick new ones up. I’d love to hear from you about changes you’ve had to make in your life to meet the demands of life and your family.