If you read my gratitude post last week you’ll already know I’m not very consistent. It’s a skill I long to possess but continues to elude me after a period of time.  I’m pleased to say those periods of time are getting longer, so that is progress, right?  I think we all have a trait we long to have that we think might make us a better person, or maybe there’s a few?

I’ve not posted in Thinking Thin for a while, because I have been so busy losing weight I completely forgot to tell you all about.  I’m so glad you’re not as gullible as me! I’ve been completely off the wagon and been hanging my blogging head in shame not being able to come and confess to you all my lack of progress, or more honestly, my regression.

So what exactly has been happening?  I think a couple of issues have collided all at the same time.  Little Pudding is nearly 6 months old and I haven’t been making an effort to eat enough good calories to keep me and her going.  This has resulted in the return of the sugar binge to beat those slumps in energy levels.

Outside factors have knocked my emotional state effecting my confidence and self esteem levels.  In my food journey this becomes comfort eating added to sugar binges equals diet disaster.  Throw in some hormonal changes as I keep up with feeding a growing baby and there you have a temporary leap from the old wagon.  It’s quite a big leap to be fair and I need to put quite a bit of effort to getting back on it but I can feel that I am making progress in the right direction.

I’ve talked before about how my relationship with food is closely connected to my emotional state, so my journey into lifestyle change was never going to be a linear one. This journey is about learning along the way and making progress with each new development.  It’s trying to shorten the periods of time I spend off the wagon and increase the time I stay on it, but without beating myself up along the way.

I have not failed as I have been learning more about myself and my relationship with food. I have found that if I start to dwell on failing I almost certainly give up as I enter a spiral of feeling bad about myself, eating to comfort myself, then feeling bad for comforting myself and so the spiral continues and those pounds start mounting up.  I have simply been learning about how I interact with food and learning how to deal with life’s present demands.  That keeps it all positive, right?

This week I’ve began planning better what I need to eat so I take in good healthy calories to keep me fulfilled and support breastfeeding the baby.  With each meal I get right I congratulate myself for getting a step closer to that wagon.  I will be back on it in no time as my thoughts start to return to positive ones and I restore balance to my eating rituals.

2 COMMENTS

  1. The wagon will wait for you, sweetheart, so you climb on and off as many times as you need to. I know how tough you find it sometimes, and I’m glad you’re not letting that increase your ‘spiral’ anymore. It may be a long road, but at least you’re travelling it. Well done for this honest post.

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