Today, I read a post by a blogger friend of mine that made me really sad.  I’ve met this lady in real life a few times and I know she is an amazing mother to her son.  To think she is writing about failing as a parent made my heart sink.  I know many of us do it, whether we write about it, talk to our friends or family about it or just dwell on it in our own thoughts.  We look for our failings more than we shout about our successes, and it needs to stop.

We jump on the smallest little thing and declare what a rubbish parent we must be, how we must be failing in some way.  Now, I’m going to ask you all to stop right now, and start celebrating the amazing job you are doing and today I’m going to tell you exactly why you are an amazing parent.

How To Be A Great Parent

I’d like to think I know a bit about this parenting game as I’ve been at it for 17 years.  It’s worked out OK so far, but I will get back to you in another 17 years when the girls have grown up.

Here’s my list of reasons why I think we are all great parents.  Lets stop looking for reasons that we are getting it wrong, and enjoy the bumpy road we are on.  With parenting we learn as much about ourselves as we do about out children, as it is a journey and some days we travel faster than others.

You’re Not A Perfect Parent

Lets get this one right out there. Nobody is the perfect parent and neither should we strive to be.  There is a massive stick there just waiting for you to beat yourself up with.  It’s ok if you don’t do craft with them one day, don’t get them to the park for a play or get them to swimming every week.

Sometimes things don’t go to plan, and that’s ok.  There are just to many issues here for me like, what exactly is a prefect parent?  Everyone will have a different vision at this point, and I’m sure if you asked your children they would give you a different answer all together.

It’s OK if your kids get bored sometimes, it’s OK if they don’t get to their activity one week and don’t worry, you’ll have enough craft and pictures to keep a recycling unit happy by the time they leave junior school.

You Love Your Kids

Regardless of how your day has unfolded, whether there has been tears or tantrums or everything has gone to plan (yeah, right!), the one thing that makes you an amazing parent is that you love your kids.

When things haven’t gone quite so well, and you feel like the day has been a complete right off remember how much you love those little people.  It is that love that gives your kids the consistency and security they need to develop and grow into the great human beings they are going to become.

Tell them how much you love them, show them every single day how much they mean to you.  Knowing that someone loves us, cares about us and believes in us gives us wings.  Children with wings, will of course fly the nest, but they will become adults you can well and truly be proud of.

You’re Always Asking Yourself, ‘Am I A Good Parent?’

Great parents are always asking themselves if they are a good parent.  This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s how we do it that matters.  Of course you are a good parent, that isn’t in question and what makes you good is the fact you are always reflecting on your parenting style and if you can improve.

As a parent, you are constantly having to change your game face as your little ones grow and give you new challenges to deal with.  Instead of looking at it in terms of ‘am I a good parent’, believe you are a good parent and allow yourself some time to reflect on your style and if you can add a new approach into the mix to meet the new challenges you face.

We are not the same parents to a 1 year old, that we are to a 3 year old or a 10 year old because needs change and that’s part of the process.  Instead, allow yourself to grow as a parent too, and change and adapt along with your children.  Don’t let these stages sew the seeds of self doubt in your ability, because you are great!

You Put Yourself In Your Children’s Shoes, Constantly!

From the minute your child enters into the world, you begin the journey of getting to know that little person inside and out.  It seems like the impossible task at first, but you soon know what each cry means, when they are tired, when they are hungry and when to give them to Dad for a nappy change!

This learning never stops, and you will never know anyone as well as you know your kids because you are constantly thinking about how they see the world.  You learn how they react to things, what upsets them, which foods to avoid and what will kick off the mother of all tantrums.

This knowledge makes you the the greatest parent your child could ever wish for.  You are the person that understands them the most and will always understand them even if the world around them doesn’t.  When they look back on their childhood, they will know that you completely got them.  This will give them the confidence to be themselves, and not worry about fitting in.

You Try Your Best

You are giving this parenting lark your best shot, even when you don’t feel like it.  Somedays you’d love to give the school run a miss, not have to ask them to clean their teeth ten times and not to have to ask them to put their coat away again, but you do it.  Every day, without fail you try to be a good parent.

You try your best to give them a secure and loving environment to grow in, you try your best to get the uniform ready for Monday morning and you try your best to give them as many experiences as you can so they can look back and say ‘I enjoyed my childhood’.

They might not realise it at the time, and you might have to wait a few years for them to turn around and say, ‘Mum, you did a great job’, but one day they will.  When they are small children ‘expect’ you to look after them.  The thought that you could do something else with your time just doesn’t enter their head.  They only appreciate the job you did, and how hard you tried when they have reached a point in their lives when they don’t need you any more.  That’s when they realise what a great job you did, and they will appreciate the effort you made to get it right.

So, please parents, stop worrying about failing, lets say ‘no’ to looking out for those parenting flaws and know that you are are a great parent!  No more beating ourselves up with big sticks and dwelling on days that don’t go so well.  You’re doing a great job, and don’t you forget it!

If you think this post will help other parents who worry about failing,  please share it with your followers and let them know they are great parents too!

23 COMMENTS

  1. Im not a mum myself yet, but I can imagine there must be times when you question whether you’re doing a good job etc. I know some fantastic mums who go through these phases. X

  2. Thank you for this post. I think all mums need to be reminded of this. Everyone struggles a bit, there’s no point denying this or hiding it, and there’s no right or wrong. I think being a parent is by far the hardest and best jobs ever!

  3. I really needed to read this post this week, I’ve been doubting myself lots lately and reading this was exactly what was required to make me realise I’m a great mum and I’m doing a great job.

  4. This is such an… obvious… post. But sometimes the obvious is easily overlooked so it’s nice to be told that, actually, you’re doing a blummin’ good job. So thanks for that little boost 🙂

  5. Aw bless you, motherhood is challenging but that does not mean you have failed as a parent. Everyone has different parenting techniques and who are we to judge whether they are a good parent or not.

  6. I love this post! I really do. It’s so easy to fall in to the mummy guilt trap – there is so much to feel guilty about, so much to wondering if you are doing things right and such a bombardment of information about what you should and shouldn’t be doing with or for your child. So it’s really refreshing to read this post – we are all trying we are all in the same boat and we are all brilliant!

  7. Great post! 17 years? I didn’t think you looked old enough to have children that old! I’ll have some of what ever you’re drinking haha! I definitely agree, no one else the perfect parent as much as we try!

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