Aren’t toddlers one of the most challenging little beasts you’ll ever come across? We are starting to witness some interesting developments in Princess at the moment, which are causing concern for the current Nursery Peace situation. All Leaders are convinced she is harbouring plans to achieve World Domination, and will stop at absolutely nothing until she has achieved her goal. The Parental Peace Mission has had to be mobilised at alarming speed.
Reports have previously suggested Princess has a sweet and gentle nature, but it appears she can employ the most alluring tactics at will, but she has been referred to recently as a cheeky monkey in the making by various observers. From witnessing recent events secret services have been putting the pieces of the jigsaw together and affected Playgrounds and Soft Play Areas have been put on Red Alert! So what are the clues? I’m sure if you look closely, you’ll recognise some of them…
Supplies: Princess is seeking to gather supplies at an alarming pace. She is staking claim to anything that will support her mission from long distance mobile radios with a multitude of applications including maps, remote control operating devices and food, especially food. Chocolate is failing to reach other children and Mummies who are particularly fond of this naughty little snack.
Missile Launching: Practise is definitely in full swing for taking out the enemy, or other small children, with any flying objects. Teddies are no longer a source of comfort but have become a projectile weapon to be used in covert operations. Unfortunately there is still work to be done on the covert aspect of this operation but her ability to connect with moving targets is highly accurate.
Combat Training: There was a time when Soft Play was approached with extreme caution. Now it’s an obstacle course employed for extreme training purposes. All mobile and static obstacles are tackled square on. Should the enemy appear at the top of Soft Play mountain, every effort is made to launch them to the mats below. These open attacks have instigated urgent talks between the current Nursery and Parent Leaders who are mobilising their joint negotiation tactics without delay.
Call to Action: There is further evidence of calling upon other like-minded activists to sign up to Princess’s cause. She seeks vantage points to attract their attention and demand support. Her battle cries can be heard near and far by any passing dog. If they understood, ‘Listen, I am taking over this Nursery!’ I’m sure they would be there in a flash. Fortunately we have seen no momentum in this part of the mission while children continue to find toys and books more interesting.
Vehicle Acquisition and Training: Princess has mastered the use of several land vehicles now and knows which cover rough terrain, optimise speed and have battering ram potential in the field of combat. These vehicles are often tested against solid structures for effectiveness and in the training field. So far vehicles and structures have remained intact but testing is still underway.
Established Mission Control: Now open air training is in full swing the vantage point of the playhouse has been established, being used to store various supplies and keep look out for enemy and unidentified activity in the locality. Security is tight and only approved personnel are granted entry.
Increased Security: Princess is displaying an increased awareness of security and is never seen in public without General Daddy. Protection is at the highest level with Princess never riding vehicles alone with particular attention to open carriages. She is always in the aloft position when undertaking public walkabouts, keeping contact with General Daddy at all times. No one is able to get within a metre of the Princess without being noticed.
Leaders have today announced that they suspect Princess of drawing battle plans on the chalkboard in the Creative Playroom. We are however confident that recent peace talks will establish headway fairly soon as Princess gains a more measured sense of self and sees the benefit in moderating her more defiant tactics on Playground Politics.
Attacks on peaceful children appear to have reduced, so we are confident the strong consistent message from the Nursery Leaders is making headway. Caution is always exercised in assuming peace has been fully restored due to the unpredictable and determined nature of the Princess especially as new claims are made on Soft Play Mountain and similar terrain.
We will of course keep you updated of all the latest developments, as part of our Nursery Affairs updates, but now we move to the latest news from the Dolls House, Upsy Daisy it’s over to you….