If this is your first time here, Thinking Thin is a weekly therapy post where I can explore what helps me to stay in control of my diet and learn more about my relationship with food.
I cannot stress enough to you all how much of an impact giving up caffeine has had on the progress I’ve made. If cravings are something that keep derailing you on your weight loss journey, removing caffeine from your diet should make a difference.
Stimulants Were Masking Issues
Now that I’ve learned how sensitive I am to stimulants like caffeine and sugar, it’s allowed me to understand other aspects of my relationship with food better. Having so many stimulants in my diet was masking some of the emotional issues about why I eat. I know I’m a comfort or emotional eater, but I really need to understand more about the triggers to help me gain control of these aspects of my eating.
Becoming More Aware Of My Emotional Eating
The other day, my husband and I became a little frustrated with one another as couples often do in a relationship. My mood wasn’t great so the first thing I did was reached for the toast the kids had left on their plates. Then I ventured into the kitchen and cracked open a bag of pistachios.
As binges go, it could have been a lot worse. I still didn’t reach for the sweet treats I’m used too, so that in itself is definitely a win. I think this is the main reason it didn’t all spiral out of control. I find sugar so dangerously moreish and very addictive.
What I did realise about the incident was that because I was feeling low in myself, probably verging on unloved, the first thing I did to comfort myself was reach for some food. Now, of course my husband loves me, that isn’t in question. But incidents like this press buttons for me that go right back to my childhood.
Using Food To Fill Emotional Gaps
Food has filled many emotional gaps for me over the years, and the biggest has to be providing some comfort for the difficult relationship I had with my mother. She always withheld affection from me because I reminded her of my absent father. It wasn’t something I noticed until she pointed it out to me, but she was very distant when it came to physical affection.
To fill the gap my mother left I ate, and when those feelings arise in myself from childhood, I do the same thing again. It’s a safe form of comfort for my inner child, food cannot hurt her or let her down I guess.
Food IS hurting me though, and my body is suffering as a result of the excess weight I’m carrying. My family suffer to when I can’t be as fit and active as I’d like to be. I think it’s time to have a comforting word with my inner child and tell her all is OK. She is loved and she has an amazing family around her. She does not need food to fill these gaps anymore.
I think this is going to take a bit of work, and it might even be a battle I always face but recognising these feelings is a start. When I feel my inner child reach for food to make her feel better, I can assure her everything is OK.