Every so often, a realisation hits me a bit like a stinky wet fish to the face, that it’s time to let go a little more. These not so gentle jolts of reality are gearing up for one thing and one thing only.  The day when Teen flies the nest.  The harsh reality is that at 6 1/2 feet tall and 17 years of age, this event is going to be on my doorstep before I know it.

I dread to think what the aftermath will look like when I’ve dropped him off at his student digs and he’s forced asked me to leave him to get on with his new life.  I fear a ‘Mummy Stalker’ will take over me, hunting him down via all possible social media channels and bugging him to talk to me on Skype constantly.  I can see I am going to have a lot to reign in or I will be so blocked it will be unreal.     

He’s growing up, and I’m really having trouble digesting just how close to adulthood he is. He’s working now, and it looks like his seasonal job at Morrisons has gone into permanent status.  He makes his shifts, and is even conscious of  not staying out late on a work night.  He tells me he has even turned down party invites so he can make his Saturday morning shift.  He clearly knows his sleep pattern well enough to know he needs a good eight hours, as it’s not the alcohol that’s an issue.

2014-07-12 14.29.28 (1280x960)

Another event has taken place recently that has rammed home the fact he is leaving his childhood behind, at quite some pace.  He has a friend, and she is a girl, but do not ask me what the defined relationship status is as there’s a whole new set of rules that I am wholly unfamiliar with.  He asked if she could come to the house, so I’m going to call it status ‘significant’.

I cannot turn a blind eye to the fact he is nearly an adult any longer.  As well as the girl, he has started learning to drive, and doesn’t my bank balance know it.  There’s no brushing that under the carpet but so far it does seem to have escaped the OH attention.

Teen is decidedly more vane these days, I cannot remember the last time I had to ask the question, ‘have you sprayed?’.  I didn’t even notice I had been made redundant from monitoring his bodily odour status.  I thought I’d got a job for life there 😉

Fortunately the sadness of knowing it’s time to let go a little more, is vastly overshadowed by the enormous pride and realisation that he is, starting to take responsibility for his own life.  It’s the perfect exchange.  He still has a lot to learn, and a fair few mistakes to make along the way, but he’s in charge now.

The question I’m left asking myself is, will I be able to respect this new found distance defining our relationship, or will I try and reign him back in at the first sign of distress.  I guess I can try but my grown up son will definitely have other ideas.

26 COMMENTS

  1. Oh hun – I know how you feel, my eldest turned 18 last July, started Uni last September and she is living a fully ‘grown up’ life – without me 🙁 Just keep communication channels open, give thanks for any information divulged to you (however it makes you feel) and love, love, love him no matter what! Lots of love x x
    Kaz – Ickle Pickles Mummy recently posted…A & B #AlphabetProjectMy Profile

  2. Although my eldest is 4, I can almost relate. After our Christmas visit to Nottingham, he has decided he is going to live in England when he grows up. In my heart I know he really might choose this, or somewhere else, that is not next door. It makes me panic and I know I have a still a minimum of 12 years. Stay strong xxx #sharewithme
    Mel @mydaysni recently posted…My Days NI – A Year of Blogging!My Profile

  3. My son is almost 3 and I already wonder about him growing up and moving on…crazy mom I know!! You must be so proud of your son and kudos to you..he sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders x
    Natasha recently posted…4/52My Profile

  4. Oh bless you I get tear eyed just reading and thinking of my two growing up and leaving me and they are only 1 and 3. I know dramatic but how bad will I be letting go? I hope you are more wise than me and more ready. but are we ever ready to have our little ones leave us? Such a hard transition in life but a must one. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme
    Jenny recently posted…Fruit Puff Pastry Tart RecipeMy Profile

  5. Oh wow, I’m dreading this to be honest!! I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to let go 🙁 Poor Austin will have me hanging on his shoe laces until hes 50… #binkylinky

  6. I have a good few years before this happens, but I know it will come round so quickly – they grow up too fast! #binkylinky

  7. Oh, I got emotional reading that. I can see how torn you are, from being so proud to not wanting to let go. I feel a little like this now and mine is only 3. I really hope I don’t turn into a stalker overbearing mum when he’s older, especially when he starts ‘dating’. Not sure if I can keep my jealousy in check! #BrilliantBlogPosts
    Ting at My Travel Monkey recently posted…Celebrating One Year of Blogging!My Profile

  8. aww this is a lovely post and I can relate a little. I have a soon to be teen and I can see his independence growing daily and I feel at times that he doesn’t really need me and will spend lots of time online or out with friends. Sometimes I only see him for a few minutes in the evening as he is busy doing what he does. I guess they all have to grow up but its hard letting go. #BinkyLinky

  9. What a lovely post – you sound so proud of your son. Just to give you hope, my brother stayed at home until he was well into his 20s so you might have a few years left yet! You’ll be more than ready to get rid of him then!
    Alana x
    #binkylinky
    Alana Perrin recently posted…The little bagel thiefMy Profile

  10. aw bless you, I have a 16 year old step-daughter who we are just starting to go through this with, she’ll be 17 in October and learning to drive. Each week we half expect it to be the week she no longer wants to visit, I think the draw of her baby brother keeps her coming for now.

    Chin up, his independence and confidence just reflects what a wonderful job you’ve done xx #binkylinky
    Leandra recently posted…|CREATE|owl hand warmerMy Profile

  11. Such a beautifully written post, it raised the hairs on my arms-your children are so, so beautiful and you are right, it’s that bittersweet feeling of having to let go a little and watching them grow. You did good Mama, real good. Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x
    HonestMum recently posted…A Night at the OperaMy Profile

  12. Although it’s going to be bittersweet when the time comes, you have nothing to worry about. Because against the odds, you have done a superb job raising him hon. He sounds so well rounded, savvy, he knows his own mind, and most importantly of all he has true integrity. Which at his age is quite something. Hats off lovely, I hope I do as good a job with my kids xx
    Reneé recently posted…The truth about being a PTMWAHMTAWMy Profile

  13. Aww I can relate so much. My Teen is 16 and although quite grown up in many ways (he’s had a serious girlfriend for almost 2 yrs), We’ve been talking about whether he should go to uni or find other routes. He’s not sure and actually a very selfish part of me is inwardly saying…. don’t go to uni, then you don’t have to leave me lol 😉 Your son sounds very sensible, that’s all you could’ve hoped for…. It’s hard to let go, at least you have the younger ones for a while longer 🙂 xx #pocolo
    Carolynne @ Mummy Endeavours recently posted…National SwimmerMy Profile

  14. Oh this takes me back to when child #1 left for uni! I cried for weeks before & after she left! It was awful! I will have to go through it all over again this year when child #2 goes!!

  15. I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what you want to hear…. but he is so handsome…. I’d invest in a big stick to beat thd off with.
    You should be so proud…. he’s the way he is because you made him like that xxxx
    #sharewithme
    #brilliantblogposts
    Katie Haydock recently posted…30 Affirmations…My Profile

  16. If you have raised them right even when they fly the nest they never really leave you- your always going to be the one they turn to for advice (after they have learned by mistakes).

    If it makes you feel any better I chatted more to my mum by the phone when I was at Uni than I did for the 5 teen years prior to going 🙂
    ellie spider recently posted…+ 365 Days 120 & 121My Profile

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